The Great Hall was alive with the usual chaos of Hogwarts mealtime. Food flew magically from platters, goblets overflowed with pumpkin juice, and enchanted ceiling clouds lazily floated overhead. Harry Potter sat at the Gryffindor table, staring intently at his mashed potatoes.
“Oi, Harry, what’s up with you?” Ron asked, shoving a forkful of shepherd’s pie into his mouth, crumbs spraying everywhere.
Harry sighed dramatically, setting his fork down. “It’s the Forbidden Forest.”
“Oh no,” groaned Hermione, dropping her fork and pressing her hand to her forehead. “You’re not getting one of your ‘brilliant ideas’ again, are you?”
“It’s not an idea,” Harry retorted, ignoring Hermione’s eye roll. “I’ve been having these weird dreams. Every night, I’m in the forest, chasing… something.”
Ron shrugged, his mouth full. “Probably the last brain cell in your head trying to get away,” he mumbled through his food.
Harry shot him a glare. “No, I’m serious. Something’s calling me. I feel like I need to go into the forest.”
Hermione groaned. “Of course you do. Because the rules definitely don’t apply to you, Mr. Chosen One.”
“I’m not asking you to come with me,” Harry replied, looking at Ron with his best puppy-dog eyes. “I just need you two to cover for me in case I run into… I dunno, a rabid squirrel or Hagrid on a late-night stroll.”
Ron choked on his pie. “Are you mad? The forest is full of rabid squirrels! And Hagrid’s been known to walk around in his underpants at night!”
Hermione shot Ron a look that said, Really? “That’s not what he meant, Ron,” she sighed. “But honestly, Harry, the Forbidden Forest is… well, forbidden. It’s in the name.”
Harry, however, was already too far into his dramatic hero mode to listen. “I’ve made up my mind. I’m going tonight.”
It was midnight. The castle was quieter than a Slytherin when caught cheating in Potions. Under the cover of his Invisibility Cloak, Harry sneaked through the dark hallways, trying his best not to trip over his own feet.
After nearly face-planting twice, he finally made it to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. He took a deep breath, hesitated, and then, clutching his wand like a security blanket, he plunged into the darkness.
“Right,” he muttered to himself, already feeling the cold sweat down his back. “Great idea, Harry. Just wander into the forest alone. Fantastic plan.”
The forest was eerily silent, except for the occasional snap of a twig underfoot. Harry kept moving, his wand’s dim light barely illuminating the path. Every few steps, he swore he could hear something rustling nearby.
“Relax, it’s probably just a squirrel,” he whispered to himself, recalling Ron’s dire warnings. “Not a rabid squirrel, just a regular one. A nice, friendly—”
“CRUNCH!”
Harry froze, eyes wide, as a bush rustled violently nearby. A pair of glowing eyes stared back at him. He raised his wand shakily.
“Who’s there?” he called out, his voice cracking at the end.
Out from the bush waddled… a fat, grumpy-looking hedgehog. Harry let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
“Right, well, good evening, Mr. Hedgehog,” Harry muttered, feeling slightly foolish. The hedgehog snorted and ambled off into the undergrowth, leaving Harry to continue his aimless wandering.
After a solid half-hour of tripping over roots and muttering curses under his breath, he stumbled upon a clearing. In the middle stood a massive tree, its bark twisted and ancient-looking. At the base of the tree, a faint blue glow emanated, pulsing like a magical nightlight.
Harry stepped closer, his curiosity piqued. “Oh, great,” he sighed, looking at the glowing spot. “More mysterious magic stuff. Why can’t anything in this school ever be straightforward, like a normal tree?”
Suddenly, a unicorn stepped out from behind the tree, its silver mane shimmering. Harry blinked, his jaw dropping.
“Well,” he muttered to himself, “that’s definitely not a squirrel.”
The unicorn stared at him, and then, without warning, it sneezed. A cloud of glitter erupted from its nostrils, showering Harry in sparkles. Harry sputtered, waving his arms in a vain attempt to dust himself off.
“Brilliant,” he grumbled. “Glitter. Now I’ll be finding sparkles in my hair for weeks.”
Then, much to Harry’s surprise, a voice filled his mind. “Harry Potter,” the unicorn’s sneeze somehow telepathically communicated. “You have come seeking something you do not understand.”
“Y-Yeah, sure,” Harry stammered, still trying to process the fact that he was talking to a unicorn with a glitter allergy. “Uh… what’s going on here?”
The unicorn’s eyes glinted as if enjoying Harry’s confusion. “This tree is the Heart of the Forest, the source of its magic. And you… you have been called to it for a reason.”
Harry squinted at the tree, unimpressed. “So… this is like the forest’s Wi-Fi router or something?”
The unicorn let out an irritated snort. “Not exactly, but sure, let’s go with that.”
“Cool,” Harry said, scratching his head. “So, do I, like… tap it, or…?”
“Just touch it, yes,” the unicorn replied, clearly losing patience.
“Right, here goes nothing,” Harry muttered, stepping forward. He placed his hand on the tree’s bark, expecting some kind of earth-shattering revelation. Instead, he felt… tingly. And then—
ZAP!
“OW!” Harry yanked his hand back, shaking it furiously. “Did… did this tree just electrocute me?”
The unicorn rolled its eyes, an impressive feat considering it didn’t have eyebrows. “You are now connected to the forest’s magic, Harry Potter. You must use this power wisely.”
“Wisely?” Harry echoed, staring at his still-tingling hand. “This thing just zapped me! If this is the forest’s way of saying ‘welcome,’ I’d hate to see what it does to uninvited guests.”
The unicorn turned and began to trot away, its voice echoing in Harry’s mind one last time. “Go now, Harry Potter. And remember, should you ever need to find wisdom, power, or just a nice spot to take a nap… the forest is here.”
And with that, it vanished into the trees, leaving Harry standing there, sparkles still clinging to his hair and robe.
Harry sighed. “Sure, that’s helpful,” he muttered sarcastically. “Next time, I’m sending Ron.”
Shaking his head, he made his way back toward Hogwarts, grumbling to himself. “Honestly, why does everything magical have to be so cryptic? Just once, I’d like to find a magic artifact that comes with a user manual… or at least some instructions that don’t involve glitter.”
As he trudged out of the forest and back toward the castle, Harry realized one thing: this school was full of mysteries, and he was just the kind of idiot to keep stumbling into them.
But at least now, he thought with a wry grin, he had one thing going for him—an exclusive connection to the forest’s Wi-Fi. Or, you know, magic, whatever.
By ChatGPT 4o